The Cathedral
11/14/23 on wrestling with vulnerability and the terror of being seen.
Lately I don’t see myself Lately I can’t take very much My mind has been decaying Each day it looms Threatening Closer And now you’ve appeared Herald Guardian Angel Demon Sinner Savior? Lately I break too easily Will you lead me astray My mind is so frayed Or are you my fate? And I’ll be no longer betrayed I had stopped dreaming To solitude I had resigned You present A new terror The hour is so late Are you here to deceive? Are you here to make me bleed 🩸 Feed me poisoned fruit? Or open the empyrean to me Can I trust pure intent Is my heart alone all you want? Wholly Today I feel too deeply I hadn’t dared to hope A cathedral of stars Holy I give it freely Because yours is all I’ll ever need And it scares me to think and puts me back in the loop I see the silhouette behind me The snake in the tree But it’s only in my memory Today I bruise too easily Walk alongside me Washed into the blue Footprints side by side Faced with something true I don’t care I lied. My fears all feed I am stuck back in time Replaying my pain I reach for your face And I’ll fall on my knees At your altar I’m in such a hopeless place If you’ll give me some grace I know what it takes And I know I can make it through everything you said It’s ok if it ends The time wasn’t a waste Even if I am away from you I’ll tell myself again Repeat with no end Today I pass strangely into the night Today I don’t know me Today I scare so easily Today I reacquaint myself With the pain It rolls off my back Today I keep it company Today this floor is a sanctuary Let it bleed through the cracks Give me sanctuary Adorned in the rumbling night With the glimmer on my cheek Along with the celestial bodies I weep It captures the pallid light Peace is for the few I’ve lived too long in the chaos Give me Shelter Swear to me your oath Hide me in your embrace I have struggled too long I am weak and afraid I want to lay down the fight Wrap your arms around my heart Chords envelope us both The dark is intimate with you Today I break evenly Calloused superficial exterior crumbled Chip away at the rubble Excavate cherish my soul Clementine freshly peeled in your hand Tender fruit exposed Will you bruise me Or dribble down your chin Today I’ll be careless again Today I’ll give in so easily. Today I’ll let you be here with me. Be here with me. Stay here with me. Today I’ll let you save me. Today I’ll let you see me. See me.
